When Will Mars Have a Dawn?

What are you thinking about when you step foot on Martian soil? 

Are you thinking about the stakes of Operation Duststomp? Are you thinking about what happens if you fail to stop these Martian Dawn terrorists? Are you thinking of what they’d dare to do with their newly obtained 10-kiloton thermonuclear bomb? 

As you exit the shuttle, do you follow Orca’s lead, your electromagnetic rifle raised, or like Puffer, gun pointed down? Did Command intend for all of Callisto City to see you and your squad in your black ice armor, strutting between Solbear floats? Is this why they dropped you on the far side of a Martian Solstice festival? Don’t you love the fear in how that Martian grips his cane tight? Do you feel powerful in how that Martian girl hides behind her parent’s leg? Won’t you remind Mars of Earth’s long reach, Stingray? Won’t you do that for your Union? 

(If your job is to instill fear, why did Command only send four of you?) 

Do you notice the fire escape leading up to the roof of the building to your right? What about the holoboards, six stories tall, with Dendrik Stride’s wanted poster on them? Are you watching for red and yellow, Martian Dawn colors? When you heard that in Mons 6 the Martian Dawn were openly marching in the street, did you call them animals? Don’t you know what must be done to wild animals? 

(Do you wonder why the news reports never say why the Dawn are rioting? Is it possible you haven’t been listening?)

Is the 15 million UED bounty on Dendrik Stride finally enough to get someone to rat her out? 

(Why do you feel like her red eyes can see through your mirrored helmet?)

How can you minimize conflict with the locals until you get across the plaza? Why does Mars do these stupid parades with their stupid Solbear mascot balloons? Why would they abandon Earth’s cultures, real cultures, for this hodgepodge of veils and stuffed animals and artificial foods? Which rooftop would a sniper be most likely to target you from? Three o’clock? Five o’clock? Eight?

Do you remember why you signed up? Was it to be a hero? Was it to do your part in defense of Earth? Was it to escape your shit family and find adventure up the gravity well? Or was it because of how many Sunrisers this mission will let you justify killing?

Are you scanning for IEDs? Are you avoiding trash receptacles? Hovercrafts? Food stalls? Are you interested in what Martian chefs can do in low gravity? Why the fuck are you letting yourself get distracted?

(How do you like Martian cuisine? How much is Callisto City a place where people live versus an area of operation in your mind?)

Should it have been so easy to make it across the plaza safely? How many Martian Dawn do you need to kill to get a commendation, do you think? Wouldn’t it be a shame if you don’t get to kill any today? Which medal would look best pinned on your uniform?

(If they are just radicals, how did they obtain a thermonuclear bomb? Why is your Sec6 security clearance not enough to get read in on the details? Is Command worried you’ll get captured? Are they worried you’ll break under a few rounds of atmo drain? Are you?)

How many times do you check Intel to confirm the apartment is unit 3T? What’s the fastest you climb three flights? Does the heat scan confirm Intel’s observation that there are only three in the apartment? Why is one of the three so small? 

Are you brave enough to take point on the door? Is the breach charge planted? Primed? Isn’t this so much better than being back on earth, working checkout ringing up bags of 3D printed rice? Which of you is counting down the five to breach? How fast can you enter? Is the woman behind the kitchen counter reaching for a knife? A gun? A grenade? What is she shouting? 

(Aren’t you pointing an electromagnetic rifle in her face? Wouldn’t it take one spasm of your index finger to lower Callisto City’s population by one? If you did, would anyone who matters even notice?)

When you cuff her, how hard do you drive your knee into her spine? Did Orca, Puffer and Hammerhead secure the other two heat signatures? What is that shouting in the bedroom? When the Martian dad who lives here shoves Hammerhead, what is the proportional response? 

How much harder could you have hit him? Where is the third heat signature? Is that it, crawling behind the couch, holding a Solbear plushie? Can the Dawn fit a thermonuclear bomb inside a Solbear plushie? How will you contain someone whose hands are too small for the cuffs? Will you grab her by her pink pajamas or her tiny throat?

Who shouts “No”? Do you follow your training? Do you bring up your rifle and aim center of mass? Do you fire? Is that blood, bone or brains that splashes against the gray wall? Who fired? “Who fired? Who fired?” 

Was it you? If you pulled the trigger, then…

Didn’t you do your duty? Didn’t you defend your squad? Isn’t this your oath to your siblings in combat made manifest? Mustn’t that mean the bomb is here? Mustn’t the bomb be in that Solbear plushie? What do you have to do to get the girl in her pink pajamas to stop crying? Why can’t Hammerhead pull her into the other room so she doesn’t have to look at her father’s brains leaking onto the carpet? (Can you get brains out of a carpet?) Why was that what you were thinking? Why aren’t you thinking about the mission? Why, when you tear apart the stuffed bear with your gauntlet knife, is there nothing inside but cotton? How can there be nothing in there? If there’s nothing in the plushie, then—

Were you set up to fail?

Why is the neutron scanner finding nothing? Is the bomb in the fridge? The rehydrator? Under the bed, the same bed where that little girl hides, staring at you like Dendrik Stride’s poster?

Is there no bomb? If there’s no bomb, how bad did Intelligence fuck up? What would Command want their best to do next? How will you fight for order and peace if there’s no bomb to disturb it?  

(What are you fighting for?)

(What emotion was on that little girl’s face? If it’s terror, and terrorists cause terror, what does that make you? Are you grateful she can’t see your face behind your mirrored helmet? Are you grateful that the same helmet filters out Martian dust particulates so you never need to breathe her air? Are you grateful that those same filters mean you can’t smell the blood of her dead father sprawled forever across the plush carpet?)

How old is the girl? Eight? How many years before she picks up a gun in service of the Martian Dawn? Ten? Seven? Two? 

How many days until her mother does the same? Should you put them both down to be safe? Who makes the call whether these two live or die? Isn’t that you? Whose voices are in your head, anyway?

When Orca pulls back toward the shuttle, how do you feel leaving these loose ends alive? Don’t you need to secure exfil? Has the plaza cleared after the explosions and the sounds of electromagnetic rifles crackling? 

Can you keep your eyes high while sprinting down three flights of stairs? Can you do it without crossing your feet, like in training? Why does it feel like something is off? How long has it felt like something is off? (Has it ever felt like something wasn’t off?) How fast can you make it across the plaza back to your hovercopter? What’s your mile time in 1/3rd gravity? 

What is that sound? Is that smoke trail with a flaming point heading right for Hammerhead? What is—

Why is everything ringing? Why is Hammerhead’s mirrored helmet on the ground, showing your mirrored helmet right back at you? Is it better or worse you can’t see their face? What’s that red trail coming from the bottom of their helmet? 

How many seconds does it take to brace your gun against your shoulder, follow the smoke trail back to its source, and pull the trigger? How great does it feel, when, after feeling the recoil of your rifle quiver through your body, that Sunriser bursts into red smoke? How great does it feel to finally kill a Sunriser who deserves it?

(Do they? Does it? Why don’t you know how you feel?)

What’s plinking off your armor? Where are Puffer and Orca? Is that blur running between the food stalls a hostile? Can you use that collapsing Solbear float as cover? Should you treat every Martian as hostile when the mission goes this FUBAR? 

How many shots through a hovercar does it take to kill the terrorist on the other side? Where are Puffer and Orca? Is this honeycombed wall going to hold up against the bullets flying at you? Where did all the smoke come from? When did your leg start bleeding? Will your ears ever stop ringing? How fast can you reload? Is that Puffer waving at you from the shuttle ramp? Can you make it to him if he provides covering fire?

(If you make it home, then what? Do you stand up to Command for sending you on such a botched, pointless mission? Was there even a bomb? Is what Command says you are fighting for what you actually are fighting for?)

Was that Hammerhead’s blood you splashed through on the way to exfil? How badly do you need to get revenge on the Martian Dawn? (Will your actions here grow their numbers?) Is that Dendrik Stride coming down the shuttle ramp, crashgun aimed at Puffer’s head? How many milliseconds are between when Dendrik pulls the trigger and Puffer’s skull erupts outward in a spray of bone and helmet?

Can you get your rifle up fast—

How did you end up on your back? Where did Stride shoot you? What part of your body can’t you feel? Who is the shadow over your head, backlit by the rising sun?

“Hello, Icer.” Dendrik Stride sighs, looks old. “Do you have a name?”

Do you remember to keep fucking quiet? Do you remember how command trained you to resist? Or will you give her your codename like an easy lay? (Or will you give her your real name?)

“Pallas Sinclair.” Dendrik Stride pulls back the hammer on her crashgun. “He was the father you killed today. You have one chance to justify your actions.”

Were you even the one who killed him? (If you weren’t, does it matter?) 

(Do you tell her you’re sorry? If you do, is it the truth?)

“Can you wait a second? Can you give me time to think?”

The crashgun’s barrel lights up as red as a Martian dawn. “No.”